Son Of A Hero
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: It was an interesting read about all those people who'd done something noteworthy for Starfleet but when I'd come across Dad's name…" Jim finds his Dad's name in a book in the Academy library. Maybe a ittle bit angsty. Kirk's POV.


**Title: Son Of A Hero**

**Summary: "It was an interesting read about all those people who'd done something noteworthy for Starfleet but when I'd come across Dad's name… It's strange to think that people knew him so much better than I did. It's hardly fair." Jim finds a book with an article about his father. **

**Author's Note: This turned out longer than I thought it would. I just sat and wrote and then it turned into a story. So, this is set not long after Jim joins the Starfleet Academy. Please R&R!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Star Trek 2009. _**

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_"George Kirk is possibly one of the most renowned members of Starfleet to date... When the Captain of _U.S.S Kelvin_ was murdered onboard a Romulan ship, Kirk took command of the vessel and saw the safe evacuation of the crew... Upon realising the autopilot settings had been destroyed, Kirk himself had to fly the ship on a collision course that meant certain death.... While he was only Acting-Captain for twelve minutes he successfully saved eight hundred lives....__His son, James Tiberius Kirk, was born in an evacuation shuttle while the _Kelvin _collided with the Romulan ship..." _

I could only take in fragments of the story. My mind kept wandering iinto imagined scenes about my Dad. The article went on and on but I couldn't read anymore. Besides, it wasn't the first time I'd heard that story so I knew it pretty much by heart so I didn't need to read it. But this was the first time I'd come across my family in a textbook. I stared at the hardback book titled "Starfleet: The Heroes". It was an interesting read about all those people who'd done something noteworthy for Starfleet but when I'd come across Dad's name…

A stray tear ran down my face. I wiped it away impatiently with the back of my hand and slammed the book shut. I hate crying. I really do. It makes me feel utterly pathetic and hate myself for it. I don't like other people seeing me hurt. It makes me feel like I've let them down or something. I'm the son of a hero. Heroes are meant to be strong, right? You can't be a hero if you let things get to you too much. I learnt not to let things get to me long ago. I can't stand the looks of hurt people show when they see me getting upset, especially Mum. It makes me feel even worse than I did in the first place.

I don't really understand it when people say tears are good. When I was a kid and I came home from school upset because some bastard had knocked my front tooth out in a fight, I was told it was okay to cry. Sure, stress relief and all but still. What I'm trying to say is that tears are water, right? People can drown in water. Water can end a life. Water can cause pain. Water can ruin things. So if tears are water, why do we cry? It's still the same dangerous substance, isn't it? That's what I thought when I was younger anyway so instead of crying all night about my tooth, I went back to school the next day and smacked the idiot over the head with a paint tray.

Sometimes I think putting on a brave face is much better. That way I can pretend I'm not hurting inside and then maybe I'll start to believe it. I can make myself invincible. Yeah right, Jim. Just you keep believing that. I sighed and slumped on the table and buried my head in my folded arms. I can't change the fact that I wish I'd known him and that I'll never meet him.

I don't remember when I decided to be bullet proof but it's getting in my way now. I'm so scared of letting my guard down now. I don't want people thinking I'm not as good as my father. I bet he didn't get upset about silly things. I didn't mean to let it get to me but just seeing his picture in front of me in a book. It's strange to think that people knew him so much better than I did but I know it's only to be expected. But how is that fair? He's my Dad but I never knew him. It's not right, I tell you. Surely I should be the one able to write these books about him and his heroic rescue. But no. I'm the one that never knew him. My Dad. And I never knew him.

"Hello, Kirk," came a voice from beside me. I heard a seat being pulled out from the table and somebody sat down. I looked up and saw Captain Pike smiling calmly at me.

"Hello," I said bluntly before remembering his position, "Captain."

"Are you all right?" he asked me.

"Yes," I said immediately. Of course I was okay. Why wouldn't I be?

He peered at the book in front of me and nodded, "I thought as much."

"What d'you mean?" I demanded.

"I knew you'd want to find out more about your Dad," Pike said gently.

"Did you really?" I said disinterestedly. I picked up the book and looked at the Starfleet logo on the front and pretended to be deep in thought.

"Yes, I did," he said, "He was a great man."

"I know."

"He'd be very proud of you. He'd have wanted you to join Starfleet," Pike said with a smile.

This was getting too touchy-feely for my liking and it was making me uncomfortable. I suddenly remembered all those birthdays when Mum had got this strange, sad smile on her face and told me how proud Dad would have been. She'd cry and I'd never know what to say. I got to my feet quickly. "I've got homework to do," I said abruptly. I'd talk about my Dad to him when I was ready. I just… Well. Right now I wanted to find out more by myself. I kinda needed to do it myself in a way. I just need to get my head around this awkwardness first before I could talk about it.

"Well, I'm here if you want to talk about anything," Pike said sympathetically. I nodded gratefully and then pretended to put the book back on the shelf behind me. Pike watched me for a moment before turning and walking out of the library. As soon as he was gone, I hurried to the desk and took the book out on loan; homework could wait.


End file.
